Caruso’s Saturday Shot ~ When Life Gives You Lemons…


When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

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And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.

http://www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 495-8600

Caruso’s Friday Funny & Quote


Ho! Ho! Ho!  Even Santa played…

 

The only real mistake is the one from which…we learn nothing. ~ John Powell

 So… this year,  I’ll try to do my Christmas shopping early instead of waiting till last minute!

 

Happy Friday, Everyone!

 

  We Are Now Accepting Qualified Listings

Now providing “Short Sale Services”

Call Today for More Info on Our 

Marketing Plan 

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 495-8600  

 

 

 

Caruso Funny ~ Father I Have Sinned….


 

Lisa goes into the confessional booth at her church and says “Bless
me father for I have sinned, I have taken unfair advantage of the
generosity of a very kind and handsome man.”

The priest says “is that you Lisa?”

“Yes Father Leahy, it is me.”

“Who was the man you took advantage of?”

“I can’t tell you, Father Leahy, because I do not want to embarrass
him.”

Father Leahy asks “Was it Sean O’Malley?”

“No father.”

“Was it Ken Shaughnessy?”

“No Father Leahy.”

“Was it Johnny Gavin?”

“No Father Leahy, I just can’t tell you.”

Father Leahy says “I approve of your perseverance but you still
have to atone for your sins. Your penance will be to say five Hail
Marys.”

Lisa goes back to her pew where her friend Janet asks in a whisper
“What did Father Leahy give you?”

Lisa replies “he gave me five
Hail Marys and three good prospects for a new boyfriend.”

ha ha get it? Happy Thursday Active Rain!

We Are Now Accepting Qualified Listings
Now providing “Short Sale Services”
Call Today for More Info and our “Spring Thing….”

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 753-7900

 

Friday Funny ~ Take off my Clothes….


 

 

When a successful farmer died, he left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman, & determined to keep the farm,
but knew very little about farming, so she decided to place an ad
in the newspaper for a farm hand. Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have
him around the house than the drunk.

 

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about farming. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the farm was doing very well. Then one day, the woman said to the guy, “You have done a really good job here over the last few weeks. You should go into town and have some fun.” The guy readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return. Two o’clock, and he still wasn’t home. He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the farmer’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

 

She quietly called him over to her. “Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. “Now take off my boots.” He did as she asked, ever so slowly. “Now take off my socks.” He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. “Now take off my skirt.” He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. “Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. “Now,” she said, “take off my panties.” By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off. Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.”

 

 Happy Friday!

 

 

We Are Now Accepting Qualified Listings
Now providing “Short Sale Services”
Call Today for More Info and our “Spring Thing….”

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 753-7900

 

Caruso Funny ~ You’ve Got Mail


 

 

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his beautiful, blond, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I’ve got mail!”

 

*Blondes please do not take offense, its just a joke & my wife & children are all blonde :).

 

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 753-7900

 

Caruso Funny ~ The Old German Shepherd


 

 

I got this story passed along to me via email and it made me LOL so I thought I would share it with you! Happy Friday!

 

An old German shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost.

 

Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep do do now!”

 

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

 

Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?”

 

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

 

“Whew!,” says the panther, “That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!”

 

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

 

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and  strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

 

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”

 

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?,” but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says…

“Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!”

 

Moral of this story…

 

Don’t mess with the old dogs… Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!

 

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 753-7900

 

 

 

Caruso Funny ~ Texting Codes for Seniors…


I am sure as most of you know texting is the big thing with the kids these day. And they all have their texting codes like;

  • BFF (best friends forever)
  • LOL (laughing out loud)
  • BRB (be right back)
  • FYI (for your information)
  • WTF (what the F***)
  • GTG (got to go)
  • LMAO (laughing my ass off)

So why not some codes for seniors (60 and over):

ATDAt the Doctor’s

BFFBest Friends Funeral

BTWBring the Wheelchair

BYOTBring Your Own Teeth

CBMCovered by Medicare

CUATSCSee You at the Senior Center

FWIWForgot Where I Was

FYIFound Your Insulin

GGPBLGotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHAGot Heartburn Again

HGBMHad Good Bowel Movement

IMHOIs My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDOLaughing My Dentures Out

LOLLiving on Lipitor

OMSGOh My! Sorry, Gas

ROFLCGURolling on the Floor Laughing. Can’t get Up!

WAITTWho Am I Talking To?

WTFWet the Floor

WTFAWet the Furniture Again

WTPWhere’re the Prunes?

WWNOWalker Wheels Need Oil

GGLKIGotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!

DTAFDon’t Trust A Fart

 

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 753-7900

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