Caruso’s Saturday Shot ~ When Life Gives You Lemons…


When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

We Are Now Accepting Qualified Listings

Now providing “Short Sale Services”

Call Today for More Info on Our

Marketing Plan

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.

http://www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 495-8600

Caruso’s Friday Funny & Quote


Ho! Ho! Ho!  Even Santa played…

 

The only real mistake is the one from which…we learn nothing. ~ John Powell

 So… this year,  I’ll try to do my Christmas shopping early instead of waiting till last minute!

 

Happy Friday, Everyone!

 

  We Are Now Accepting Qualified Listings

Now providing “Short Sale Services”

Call Today for More Info on Our 

Marketing Plan 

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 495-8600  

 

 

 

Caruso Funny ~ Father I Have Sinned….


 

Lisa goes into the confessional booth at her church and says “Bless
me father for I have sinned, I have taken unfair advantage of the
generosity of a very kind and handsome man.”

The priest says “is that you Lisa?”

“Yes Father Leahy, it is me.”

“Who was the man you took advantage of?”

“I can’t tell you, Father Leahy, because I do not want to embarrass
him.”

Father Leahy asks “Was it Sean O’Malley?”

“No father.”

“Was it Ken Shaughnessy?”

“No Father Leahy.”

“Was it Johnny Gavin?”

“No Father Leahy, I just can’t tell you.”

Father Leahy says “I approve of your perseverance but you still
have to atone for your sins. Your penance will be to say five Hail
Marys.”

Lisa goes back to her pew where her friend Janet asks in a whisper
“What did Father Leahy give you?”

Lisa replies “he gave me five
Hail Marys and three good prospects for a new boyfriend.”

ha ha get it? Happy Thursday Active Rain!

We Are Now Accepting Qualified Listings
Now providing “Short Sale Services”
Call Today for More Info and our “Spring Thing….”

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 753-7900

 

Friday Funny ~ Pet’s can be smarter than you think…


 

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, ”Hey,
lady! You’re really ugly!” The lady was furious and continued on
her way. On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said “Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn’t say it again. The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. “Hey, lady!” it said. “Yes?” “You know.”

 

ha ha ha! Happy Friday!

 

 

 

We Are Now Accepting Qualified Listings
Now providing “Short Sale Services”
Call Today for More Info and our “Spring Thing….”

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 753-7900

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Certified Luxury Home Marketing Specialist  Member of The Institute Luxury Home Marketing   Million Dollar Guild Member  Member of Proxio Pro - The International MLS

 

Caruso Funny ~ Job Ad Meanings


 

Ever wanted to know what is behind those standard phrases in job ads?

It is all being revealed now, just read on…

The real meaning of words in Job Ads

COMPETITIVE SALARY:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:

We have no time to train you and you’ll have to introduce yourself

to your co-workers.

SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE:

….who still live with their parents and won’t mind our

entry-level salaries.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:

We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, we don’t

shave around here and wear our tats with pride

JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM:

We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:

You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY:

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:

We have no quality control, so you better get it right

COLLEGE DEGREE PREFERRED:

Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like

philosophy or English.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:

We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal

formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:

You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:

You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:

You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or

respect.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want, and

then do

ha ha ha!

We Are Now Accepting Qualified Listings
Now providing “Short Sale Services”
Call Today for More Info and our “Spring Thing….”

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 753-7900

Caruso Funny ~ The Talented Salesman


 

Young Brad from the country applied for a salesman’s job at a city Department store. It was one of those massive stores that sells just about everything.

 

The boss asked him, “Have you ever worked in sales before?” “Yes, I was a salesman in my home town,” said Brad. The boss liked him instantly and said, “I’ll give you a trial day here at the store, start tomorrow, and I’ll come and see you after closing time to see how you went.”

 

When the boss met up with young Brad the next day at closing time, he saw him shaking hands with a beaming customer. After they parted, the boss walked over and asked, “Well, that looked good! How many sales did you make today?” “That was the only one,” said the young salesman. “Only one!?!” blurted the boss. “Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. You’ll have to do better than that! Well, how much was the sale worth?” “Three hundred sixty five thousand, four hundred fifty two dollars,” said young Brad.

 

The boss stopped, truly stunned now…”Um, how did you manage that?!?” “Well, when he came in this morning and I sold him a small fish hook. Then, I sold him a medium hook, and then a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one, and then a big one. I then sold him a spear gun, a wetsuit, scuba gear, nets, chum, coolers, and a keg of beer. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said up the coast. We decided he would probably need a new boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then, he said that his old bomb car probably wouldn’t be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser, with a winch, storage rack, seat heating, and a built-in TV. Oh, and cup holders.”

 

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, “You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?!” “No,” answered the salesman. “He came in to buy a blanket.” “A blanket?” “Yeah, an extra blanket for the couch. He just had a fight with his wife and was sleeping on the couch. I said to him, ‘Well, your weekends ruined, so you might as well go fishing…'”

 

 

 

 

Now that’s a good sales person…

 

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 753-7900

 

Caruso Funny ~ The Old German Shepherd


 

 

I got this story passed along to me via email and it made me LOL so I thought I would share it with you! Happy Friday!

 

An old German shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost.

 

Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep do do now!”

 

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

 

Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?”

 

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

 

“Whew!,” says the panther, “That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!”

 

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

 

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and  strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

 

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”

 

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?,” but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says…

“Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!”

 

Moral of this story…

 

Don’t mess with the old dogs… Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!

 

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 753-7900